Why?

When things happen in our lives, especially the unexpected painful events, we tend to ruminate over the “why.” Searching for a reason. Going over and over every detail leading up to the event in an effort to determine what we could have done differently to avoid heartbreak. In most of these cases, there simply isn’t a reason or, if there is, it has absolutely nothing to do with anything we did or did not do. In other words, it could not have been prevented. It happened… and the reality is that everything does not have a reason. Bad, even horrible, things happen. Period. We do not have total control over everything in-and-around our lives but we can choose how we deal with them. Do we play victim or battle on? Although I like to think of myself as a seasoned warrior, the truth is I carry so many emotional scars that I occasionally succumb to days of self-pity. What is self-pity exactly? Isn’t it just the act of feeling sadness for ones-self? I acknowledge it carries a negative connotation but should we self-condemn when we express sadness for ourselves? After all, when we feel sad for someone else it warrants praise for being a good person. Why should we restrict ourselves from having those same feelings of sadness when they pertain to us? Keep in mind I am not talking clinical depression but feelings of sadness. I don’t think you can change your mood and inspire positive action without self-reflection. So, I say have your day(s) of self-pity because bad things happen to all of us and it’s okay to feel sad about them.