Another Thing About Winter

On most days, not every day, all day long, but most days, I am a silver lining kind of girl. Translation: I look for “the good” in each day, even if it is barely a thread. A mere morsel on the plate of life.  And, believe me, there are definitely those days where barely a drop of “good” can be found. In those instances I am like the best street contortionist bending and flexing that day’s events to find the silver even if it has fallen into the pavement cracks. I am not above digging and scratching in the muck because, in the end, I feel better and I think it makes me a better person.

Cool the jets…another thing about winter, besides the penetrating cold, I need more than a snow blower to plow through my fog laden brain. I am so melancholy my depression is depressing. I am a complete and total mess. I self-diagnosed myself with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) years ago. SAD is a kind of depression that occurs and recurs as the hours of daylight grow shorter during the winter months. As with other types of depressive episodes, symptoms may include headaches, excessive drinking, overeating and insomnia.  Obviously, this makes it harder to find “the good” and striking silver is almost impossible. As with most things, I believe acknowledgement is the first step toward treatment. To be cognitively aware. So, in an effort to make it easier on the people closest to me, I try to limit my exposure to them during the twelve weeks of winter. It is my gift to them. I do not have the wherewithal to dig in the cracks looking for “the good” when “the good” is often my being able to get through the day. Oh geez…let’s go back and re-read the last part of that sentence” “when “the good” is often my being able to get through the day.” Well, there you go. I struck silver after all. For the next eighty-four days, that will probably be as good as it gets. I can live with that. So back off dear loved ones and know that on, or about, the eighty-fifth day, I will be roaring to go…mining pick in hand.